{"id":35,"date":"2014-09-19T15:05:21","date_gmt":"2014-09-19T15:05:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/inspire.rcs.ac.uk\/medea\/?page_id=35"},"modified":"2021-03-04T19:57:11","modified_gmt":"2021-03-04T19:57:11","slug":"dialects-in-performance","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/?page_id=35","title":{"rendered":"Dialects in Performance"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube-nocookie.com\/embed\/2qfwlnGn09A?rel=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\n[accordion_name id=&#8221;a5&#8243;]Accent: <strong>American &#8211; General<\/strong> (click to reveal transcript)[\/accordion_name]<\/p>\n<p>[accordion_data id=&#8221;a5&#8243;]<strong>Most Highly Favoured <\/strong><em>by David Ireland<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Character: Mike<\/p>\n<p>I have a limited amount of time on earth.<br \/>\nForty-seven hours to be exact.<br \/>\nI met you at seven o\u2019clock last night and I have to be back in Heaven by six o\u2019clock tomorrow night British time.<br \/>\nHeaven is very nice and being an angel is great but being a human being for forty-seven hours is as exciting as life gets for an angel.<br \/>\nI like having sex.\u00a0 I like eating.\u00a0 I like kissing.\u00a0 I like getting drunk.\u00a0 I like walking.\u00a0 I like feeling real.\u00a0 Having skin and teeth and hair and&#8230;<br \/>\nI love this!\u00a0 This!<br \/>\nI even like going to the bathroom.\u00a0 Really.\u00a0 I know you probably find it disgusting but when you only get to do it once every thousand years it\u2019s the most fascinating experience you could ever have.<br \/>\nBut most of all I like breathing.\u00a0 I like sitting on a park bench, inhaling and exhaling, watching squirrels and pigeons and dogs.\u00a0 I like sunshine and rain and&#8230; weather?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that what you call it?\u00a0 I like weather.\u00a0 We don\u2019t have weather in Heaven.<br \/>\nNone of the other angels like being down here anymore.\u00a0 It\u2019s not the same as it used to be.<br \/>\nYou used to revere us.\u00a0 You believed in us when we spoke.\u00a0 And now you don\u2019t.\u00a0 You no longer accept us unquestioningly.\u00a0 Which is a good thing.\u00a0 It shows you\u2019re evolving.<br \/>\nBut it makes our job a lot harder.\u00a0 It leads to&#8230; well it leads to situations like this.<br \/>\nWhen God gives us these tasks no one volunteers willingly anymore.<br \/>\nBut I did.<br \/>\nBecause I thought \u2013 well to be honest, I thought, stupidly I thought, I could cheat God.\u00a0 I thought I could fulfil my mission, get you&#8230; you know&#8230; filled&#8230;and then not have to tell you.\u00a0 I mean, you\u2019ll find out some day eventually, when your baby son starts walking on water or resurrects his pet hamster, so why do I need to tell you?\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to be a divine messenger this time, do I?\u00a0 The baby is the message.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I was thinking.<br \/>\nBut the thing with having God as your employer is he\u2019s always one step ahead of you.\u00a0 A thousand steps ahead of you.\u00a0 He knew I couldn\u2019t get out of here without telling you.\u00a0 That some part of you needed to hear it and wouldn\u2019t let me go.<br \/>\nWhen we made love last night, it was special.\u00a0 But it wasn\u2019t me.\u00a0 You were making love to God, Mary.\u00a0 As much as I enjoy it I\u2019m not very practiced at sex.\u00a0 Without God\u2019s assistance, I\u2019m afraid to say it would have been fairly pedestrian.<br \/>\nI\u2019m using my remaining time on earth to visit London.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never been to London before.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never been on a train before.<br \/>\nLast time I was on earth, I was helping Cyril and Methodius convert the Slavs.\u00a0 And believe me, that was a lot easier than dealing with you.<br \/>\nSo I\u2019ve told you the truth.\u00a0 I\u2019ve delivered the Messiah into your womb and I\u2019ve handed you your divine mission.\u00a0 Now if you\u2019ll excuse me, I have to pack and get ready.\u00a0 I\u2019m booked on the ten thirty to King\u2019s Cross and I don\u2019t want to miss it.\u00a0 I have tickets for The Lion King.<\/p>\n<p><em>This monologue is published by kind permission of the author.<\/em> [\/accordion_data]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube-nocookie.com\/embed\/ZQLn8B39KD0?rel=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\n[accordion_name id=&#8221;a4&#8243;]Accent: <strong>Dublin &#8211; D4<\/strong> (click to reveal transcript)[\/accordion_name]<\/p>\n<p>[accordion_data id=&#8221;a4&#8243;]<strong>Laundry <\/strong><em>by Nicola McCartney<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Character: Katie<\/p>\n<p>Let me tell yeh about the walk home Eileen. Are yeh listenin?\u00a0\u00a0 There\u2019s this fella, just started work at Byrne\u2019s shop and I think he might have a fancy for me, cos he follows me home every night. I\u2019ve been watching him\u2026..He finishes a bit before us, so he waits down at the corner until we get let out. When I walk past him, he pretends he\u2019s not seen us, looks the other way an all. So I lets on I haven\u2019t seen him. And the next thing, I glances over me shoulder and he\u2019s right behind &#8211; following me like. The one I\u2019ve been tellin yeh about. The one that works for oul Bowsie Byrne. The tall skinny one with hair like a lavatory brush. As white as a sheet. This is a laugh Eileeen. Wait till I tell yeh what I did tonight. I waited until we were comin down the entry between Doyle\u2019s and McCracken\u2019s \u2013 until Theresa left me \u2013 I didn\u2019t want to embarrass him that much. Then I turns on him and says. \u2018Can yeh not find your own way home that yeh have to follow me every night?\u2019 He nearly died, God help him! Couldn\u2019t speak with the fright of it. Then I says, \u2018Do yeh like me then?\u2019. The poor creature nods his head like this. So I says, takin pity on him, \u2019If yeh like me that much I suppose I can meet yeh later on\u2026..<\/p>\n<p><em>This monologue is published by kind permission of the author.<\/em> [\/accordion_data]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube-nocookie.com\/embed\/UJ8W0axtcEU?rel=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\n[accordion_name id=&#8221;a3&#8243;]Accent: <strong>Glasgow<\/strong> (click to reveal transcript)[\/accordion_name]<\/p>\n<p>[accordion_data id=&#8221;a3&#8243;]<strong>Blooded <\/strong><em>by Isabel Wright<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Character: Donna<\/p>\n<p>The summer of T in the Park! An\u2019 we get a tent and it\u2019s muddy as fuck! An\u2019 you wake up in the morning with inch thick mud on your face! An just when you think you\u2019ve got through the day all clean some wee eejit comes and splashes your best white jeans or hugs you when he\u2019s muddy, just to be funny. An\u2019 the food\u2019s all right, but its dead expensive man! Fuck me so it is! But when you\u2019re right there in the middle of it! An\u2019 there\u2019s so many, many people and you\u2019ve never seen that many people in your life all together! An\u2019 the sun\u2019s going down and its rainin\u2019 like fuck down on you likes! But you don\u2019t care cos it\u2019s the best thing ever! An\u2019 there\u2019s a big man on your right who\u2019s like a big fuckin wall! An there\u2019s a big man on your left who\u2019s like seven foot tall, and then there\u2019s a big wave when everyone gets swept right along and you\u2019re in the middle of it! And Amy canny stand up any more so you\u2019re draggin\u2019 her to her feet. And some wee gnaff\u2019s tryin\u2019 to snog you so you\u2019re fightin\u2019 him off likes! An\u2019 you\u2019ve lost your sister long ago cos she had to stand up the back by the kebab van cos of the baby. But you can still see! And everyone\u2019s jumpin\u2019, jumpin\u2019, and you\u2019re jumpin\u2019, jumpin\u2019, and everyone carries you with them, and there\u2019s some big guy puts you on his shoulders and you\u2019re high above everyone reachin\u2019 for the skies! An\u2019 you\u2019re wavin\u2019 at the camera an\u2019 you might get on the telly! An\u2019 it\u2019s the best- the best- and one day it\u2019ll be you up there onstage with millions and millions of folk standin\u2019 and wavin\u2019 and thinkin\u2019 you\u2019re it! An\u2019 that\u2019ll be you made Donna Delaney! That\u2019ll be you made!<\/p>\n<p><em>This monologue is published by kind permission of the author.<\/em> [\/accordion_data]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube-nocookie.com\/embed\/-WmxvqKilOs?rel=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><br \/>\n[accordion_name id=&#8221;a1&#8243;]Accent: <strong>New Zealand<\/strong> (click to reveal transcript)[\/accordion_name]<\/p>\n<p>[accordion_data id=&#8221;a1&#8243;]<strong>BURY YOUR BONES <\/strong><em>by Alex Lodge<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Character: Vic<\/p>\n<p>Do you ever think about the exact moment that you will die? And how at that exact second, a dog will be taking\u00a0 a shit, and a horse will be scratching it&#8217;s arse on a fence, and someone will be buying\u00a0 an expensive top that they&#8217;ll never wear? They won&#8217;t even know, or care, what&#8217;s happening to you. Isn&#8217;t that horrible?<\/p>\n<p>Romans called it debitum naturae:\u00a0 debt of nature. Which I like. You probably don&#8217;t even study Latin in school, do you? Only if you&#8217;re rich. You should, everyone should. It&#8217;s a good language, feels brimful with magic, in my humble, ha! Well, in my once-highly-sought-after opinion. Here&#8217;s how I see it, when I can bear to look directly at the idea:<\/p>\n<p>Imagine a lake. A huge lake. The biggest lake, beyond imagination. And you are a pebble.<\/p>\n<p>Clink &#8211; you\u2019re born &#8211; dropped in the water and straight away you begin to cause ripples. Your ripples spread out and out, crossing paths and catching the light and you hope that someone is watching all of this because it\u2019s really quite interesting. You\u2019re sure that you\u2019re interesting.\u00a0 You almost forget that at the same time, you\u2019re sinking, sinking. And then &#8211; thump. You hit the bottom, and you lay there, with an infinite amount of other pebbles, at the bottom of a lake, for eternity. And every moment of living that you threw away is lost, it&#8217;s not turned into a star in the night sky that shines on forever or any bullshit like that, it&#8217;s just gone. Darkness and silence and emptiness and unfathomable nothingness where if you have any consciousness at all it&#8217;s probably only to howl at the memory of how good it felt to be alive for that tiny blip in eternity.<\/p>\n<p><em>This monologue is published by kind permission of the author.<\/em> [\/accordion_data]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[accordion_name id=&#8221;a5&#8243;]Accent: American &#8211; General (click to reveal transcript)[\/accordion_name] [accordion_data id=&#8221;a5&#8243;]Most Highly Favoured by David Ireland Character: Mike I have a limited amount of time on earth. Forty-seven hours to be exact. I met you at seven o\u2019clock last night and I have to be back in Heaven by six o\u2019clock tomorrow night British time. &#8230; <span class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/?page_id=35\">[Read more&#8230;]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["entry","page","publish","author-administrator","post-35"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/35","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/35\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2041,"href":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/35\/revisions\/2041"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/medea.rcs.ac.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}